I always see the same old boring list of the best jobs for travel. Every month or so, someone is telling you about the best jobs for traveling the world.
The list contains the same jobs. Become an airline pilot, work on a cruise ship, be a dive instructor on a tropical island, be a bar tender, teach English in a foreign country or better yet become an archeologist and be like Indiana Jones.
I think someone wrote the list 10 years ago and ever since it has been re worded and rolled out every few months hoping someone, somewhere hasn’t seen it. I don’t know about you, but most of these jobs don’t hold a lot of appeal for me. I don’t like being surrounded by a bunch of sniveling kids much less a whole classroom full of kids that I can’t even understand what they are saying. A lot of the other jobs are either not very practical or don’t make much money.
I know somewhere there is a guy reading these lists and yelling at his wife. “Dammit Doreen, if you hadn’t got pregnant I could have been a flying archeologist. That’s right I have done both of them”.
So, what is the average person to do? Well I am glad you asked. I now present the Ultimate list of best jobs for travel.
Join the Military
That’s right, tote a gun and see exotic places. Every country has a military and they would be glad to have you among the ranks. Think of it. The camaraderie, living 20 or more in a room. Just like a hostel but you get a gun. Travel to exotic locations, although you might have to duck a bullet or two. You get to wear those cool looking cammo clothes that others pay big money for. Your country’s military rarely goes to exotic places? No worries, join the French Foreign Legion. You will meet people from all over the world, learn French and get a new cool name.
Become a Drug Mule
I know at first it sounds distasteful but think about it. You get your travel expenses paid for and get to fly all over the world. You can show your passport off with all the stamps in it. At the very least you can travel by land and hike over the borders from one country to another, that way you really get to see the country. Just like the military you get to meet a whole bunch of interesting people. They may not be people you would normally like to meet, but hey every job has its drawbacks.
Become an International Arms Dealer
You could become like Nicolas Cage in the movie “Lord of War”, traveling the globe and meeting interesting people. You played enough first person shooter games on x-box that you already know the latest weapons systems. You can get a hot assistant to book all your travels and take messages as you travel the globe demonstrating your products for heads of government and business. Although some of the businesses are a little unsavory and the head of the government may not be in power for long. But hey, it’s an all cash business.
Become a Porn Star
I would recommend becoming a well-known actor or actress but that’s too hard. Instead get into the porn industry, there is a low barrier for entry and you will definitely get to meet lots of people. While the world’s best actors and actresses get to travel the world while making films, a porn star still gets to travel. Most of the travel might be cheap motels and peoples homes, but think of it as being kind of a budget backpacker that stays in hostels. I mean come on, deep down that’s what you really thought went on in those hostels anyway.
Okay, so the list is a little tongue in cheek. All except the military, much respect to my brothers and sisters in arms, but you get the message. There is no magic list of jobs that will allow you to leave your job in manufacturing, sales, administration or whatever you do and travel the world.
For as long as people have been around there were people that wanted to know how to travel more. In 1500 there was a little Mayan boy standing on a hill watching the Spanish ships come in thinking “Man, those guys are lucky, I wish I could travel”.
If you want to travel more then you need to figure out a way to either work for someone that has jobs all over the world or allows you to travel as part of your job. There are more than you think. The other option is to find a way to turn your skills into something that you can do either as a self-employed person or consultant or just pack your bags and look for temporary work wherever you go. Today we call those people nomads and budget backpackers. In the 1920’s we called them hobos. Just goes to show you how times have changed.
If all else fails, there is always that Foreign Legion option.
Hahaha! So refreshing to see a post like this, instead of the usual po faced, ‘this is how you can travel and work at the same time’ lists you get. I’m almost inspired to go do a spoof post mocking those ’10 reasons you must visit x’ posts you see floating around…think I might save it for April Fools Day 😉
Cool article! You’re right, those lists all look the same!
I have been always in love with the idea of traveling. When I was choosing a major for my course, I took up English. The reason behind it was I know some people who were able to travel abroad because they teach English. On the other hand, I have realized how difficult it is to teach when I started in this field since 2010. I kept on researching and later found out, I can go for a freelance job. It is challenging especially if there is no one who can help me in doing it. I have my blog now and working on it. Someday, I would like to get earnings from my blog and develop my skills in technology more.
You’ll get there just keep learning and plugging away.
hahaha excellent list! If times get tight, I might try a few of these!
Let me know how it works out.
Hop a freighter. Stow away in the wheel carriage of a jumbo jet. Good starter list.
Aah yes but those aren’t paying jobs. That would fall under “How to travel the world for free”
LOL>… this cracked me up but yup… you’re on point point:)
This is the best list of travel jobs ever. Deciding between porn star and drug mule.
Decisions, decisions. I know you have seen this but if you decide on the porn star route, change your name. The color of your underwear and the last thing you ate. For me it would be Commando Smoothie
Excellent advice. You may also want to consider adding; fugitive from justice & D-list drunk celebrity
Well the fugitive doesn’t pay anything so not really a job and why be a D-list drunk celebrity when you can be a porn star.
Haha! Great list. I have been in the military now for 19 years and some of the locations are definitely not holiday material (ie Liberia and Iraq) but I’ve been super lucky to work in amazing countries like Thailand, Australia, Japan, Germany and the list goes on… If you become an officer, the pay is pretty decent too!
I agree the locations are usually not the best. I spent 20 years active and another 8 working as a contractor. Thanks for all you do, be safe.
Ha, too funny, and probably pretty accurate! I think I’ll sit these jobs out and live vicariously through others!
I loved this! You’re right, most of these lists are pretty uninteresting. This one is much more fun, although not sure I’m going to tryout for any of them. Thanks!
That is so funny! Really a porn star?
Must’ve been fun ‘researching’ this topic! Had me giggling.
Hobos to budget backpackers-the times have changed. 🙂 Fun post!
That’s it!! All my dreams have gone out the window. You mean traveling porn stars is a thing? :p Funny list.
These are not the jobs people usually look for. Hey, atleast keep your options open. 😀 That was something you dont get to read everyday.
Wow, this one went right over your head didn’t it? As they say in the game show business “Thanks for playing”.
Our lives would definitely be more interesting as the international arms dealers. The pay would be much better, too. LOL thanks for picture of Drago. I personally enjoyed that one.
interesting list;) definitely not the usual, but eye-opening for sure.
Loved your tongue in cheek account! But on a serious note yes, there is no such thing as an ultimate list of travel jobs. I have bee working in Marketing and it did provide me travel opportunities. But I feel travel should be afforded a full time status and attention, something which it deserves.
And here i was sitting with a pen and a paper, ready to take down all your ideas. 🙂 Jokes apart, my personal opinion is that once travel becomes a job, it loses its charm. But then, that’s just me.
Great read! Wonder if there is an aging travel porn star Facebook group? I’m sure they have an awesome daily sharing thread.
These are all wonderful suggestions But for me I think I would be a porn star. I already know I’d be good at it. I hope the ladies are listening lololol
Great list but some are so funny job roles.
This is too funny. I loved this. I’d love a job to travel the world but none of these will work for me. Thanks for the laugh.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Literally laughed out loud when I realized where you were going with the article. Well done, great Monday morning read! 🙂
Glad you enjoyed it.
BAHAHA lol well your post is certainly NOT boring!! I actually laughed out loud – a couple of seconds of “is he serious” lol but then the realization set in. As amusing as the sarcasm is, that said, I have friends who really do love the military – not a life for me personally, but I have a friend who works in logistics and she has been able to see a lot of the Middle East with her work, she was stationed in some very interesting places. She wasn’t on the front line for active duty, but did have an authentic chance to see other parts of the world 🙂
That’s how I saw a lot of the world. It seemed like a better option than porn star.
Hehehe! I think I will just join the military.
I needed a laugh, so thank you for making my day. Certainly, not a common advice, but, hey, who knows, you might inspire someone to try a new career. Excluding military path, any tips how to apply? Cheers!
Glad you enjoyed it.
Oh! This is the best thing I’ve seen all day. Thanks for the laugh. I think I’m completely burned out on the usual stuff you see. This was refreshing.
Here’s another for your list: Change your last name to Kardashian and you’re bound to make millions.
Unfortunately, that is too true.